Maybe I should have named this blog starting over because that is all I seem to be doing.
Caregiving for my mom with cancer has beaten me down. Couple it with the fact that she has chosen not to tell anyone and we live isolated from friends or family, and you can see the cocktail of despair that I live in.
Enough of that onto this... I almost deleted all the former post on this blog and just started fresh (honestly, I may still do that) in an attempt to have a clean slate here. But, this journey isn't clean. Grief isn't clean, weight loss is HARD.
I haven't been overweight in decades so I forgot just how demoralizing it is to wake up in a heavy body unable to maintain your previous level of wellness. I type this with frustrated tears in the corner of my eyes.
In our attention economy-based mirrorball society, blogs and vlogs need to be flashy, catchy, etc. to garner attention.
Well, I don't need any attention here. I am resisting my perfectionist tendencies to use lots of pretty photos, highlighting, etc. This is the only space I own that is just mine. This started out as an online diary intent on helping someone else see that they are not alone. I have to remember my intention, and then it becomes easier to post.
In keeping my "online diary" theme, I will be posting multiple times a day. Almost like my own social media page (of which I currently use ZERO). My head is filled with a million thoughts, and I thought, "Hey, why not share it with the few people who read this blog?"
Here goes. Me. Starting over. Again. Sigh.
At least this means I haven't given up. And, isn't that a victory in and of itself?
Onward.
