Apparently It's at 6 pm That The Trouble Starts

The day goes so well, and then 6 pm hits and I throw it all out of the window.

I've observed and grown frustrated by this new fact for the past couple of months (so I guess it's not that new).

Yesterday was a blisteringly hot miserable and busy day. Hospital crowds, traffic, dehydration- the usual for a summer caregiving day without enough sleep.

When 6:30 pm hit, and dinner was made and everyone was settled... it started with cereal and yogurt. Innocent enough right? Nah... ate it all. Then a few more snacks. Then I turned on the TV for a documentary about bike riders, and that was it. I started feeling sad, overwhelmed, apathetic, etc.

It's a new day. I am proud of what I did well yesterday also, so let's recount that.

Monday's Victories:

1. The day started with a hot (summer or not) coffee with milk and journaling
2. I did a bike class (first one in months from the Peloton app and it was fun)
3. Lifted weights while listening/watching a Podcast (weird I know)
4. Did some stretching
5. Took a hot shower (trust me this goes on the list)
6. Did my hair (definitely makes the miracle list)

What I learned yesterday:

1. When I come inside from ripping and running, I need to put 15 minutes of space in between coming in and cooking/cleaning for them
2. The little break will help me not to drop down into a pit of despair
3. 15 minutes won't make or break their hunger if the meds are already given
4. 6:00 pm onward is a dangerous time. I have to find something to do then. My ideas are:
1. Shower (whether I need another one or not)
2. Go sit in my car with a book for an hour
3. Immediately at 6 pm drink about 32 ounces of water
4. Talk  a walk on my walking pad (but I've tried this plan and have yet to do it, so I don't count this is a viable option for right now).

Tuesday's Plan

If you can't tell by now, I am a planner. A list-making planner :)

1. Coffee + journaling
2. Meditation
3. Cardio + strength + stretching
4. Prepare for long appts today
5. Few errands
6. Take a 15-30 minute break when we come back
7. Prepare dinner + clean fridge

I have to approach this one day at a time or 1/2 a day at a time. I've been working on acceptance. SO many years into caregiving (added a family member) and I am still hurting behind the reality I face.

Okay... let's tackle Tuesday.