Here's How I Start Over... AGAIN

I kept resisting posting here - as if that changes my reality, but hospital visits, midnight sweet popcorn, and tears have left me exhausted, burdened and with 3 more pounds.

I want to be in a position where I can make a plan for fitness and just be able to follow it, but my life isn't in that place right now.

I don't want to hide from it anymore in case anything I write here can help someone else. Perhaps I can even help myself...

So, it's a Monday. We have a PET scan today for my mom's cancer. I slept 5 hours. And, all of that is okay. 

Right now

1. The iced coffee is delicious
2. It's a sunny morning
3. It's a Monday - fresh start
4. 3 pounds is better than 30 pounds (like last time)

What I know is

1. Starting over is powerful
2. If I start taking photos of my food or counting calories just to see what and when I am consuming food/snacks it can be eye opening
3. It's okay to just accept that right now is hard and I have to survive through it, not thrive through it
4. All hope is NOT lost

It would be easy for me to just quit and say, "it's hard right now, I'll try next month", but I won't. It's a Monday morning. After drinking this coffee, I am going to make some toast and almond butter, and lace up my shoes for a Peloton ride. 

THIS is grief. THIS is real life. THIS is the struggle. I'm alone carrying this weight, and that in and of itself is so hard.

I've committed to myself (and to the few readers who come here) that I will be more consistent, more open, and more transparent about this process of losing weight again and living well.

Perhaps it will help me to use this space as a journal of sorts, and document exactly what workouts I do, and exactly what I eat for the day...hmmm... okay, let's try that starting today. That means more than one post per day, but whatever, it's meant to be a diary!

I'm not ready to post my own photos, but I'll start adding some more stock photos to make the post a tad more appealing where I can. 

Message for you if you're struggling

You're not alone. I'm right there with you. It's hard. It's harder than people let on. You won't be crushed by it. It does feel that way, but it isn't true. It's a fresh Monday morning. A new week. A new chance to begin again. Join me. Let's not give up. 

Drink a glass of water. Do a few minutes of really deep breathing. Clear your mind and formulate a plan that you can stick to for just this day.

If you want to, you can leave a comment and we can support one another there. 

We've got this.